How Does It Start?

As teenagers, we might also have gone through many situations, where we could have been irrational just because things did not go as we wanted them to. Nowadays, the pressures on a teenager are even more than what it used to be in our times. Sometimes, repetitive disappointments in teenagers push them to deep despairs, which surfaces in the forms of anguish and depression. They find themselves in a situation where they undergo lack of motivation, low self-esteem, and substance abuse. A higher form of this may even lead them to commit suicides. The obvious question that comes to everyone’s mind, as a parent, is how should one find these in their earliest phase?

Identifying the Signs

If a teen is in deep despair or suffering from depression, then he might be sad and isolated most of the times. When he or she depicts the following signs continuously, then it is time for you to see what is going on with your child:

•             Sleeping disorders, either oversleeping or sleeping less

•             Feeling extremely irritated or sad all the time, every day

•             Difference in eating habits

•             Maximal restlessness or fatigue

•             Lack of concentration

•             Feeling hopeless and guilty always

•             Frequently complaining about headaches and stomachaches

•             Passing comments and thoughts relating death and suicide

Although main symptoms of despair/depression in teens and adults are quite similar, some faint differences do exist. For instance, teens might appear to be more irritated than being sad. He or she might keep complaining about sleepless nights or become especially disparaging and self-critical.

Observation of Behavior

As parents, you need to be extremely careful in observing the behaviors of your children. Many things which you might consider very small or unworthy of your attention may be a big issue for your children. Parents sometimes find it easier to deal with the big problems of their lives but these small ones are very difficult for them as they often go unnoticed. So, you must look for any changes in their behavior, and if you find them for more than a week or two, you must try to talk to them so that you may know about the problem at the earliest.

Once you know the problem, you can sort it out by talking to them. In case the children are not ready to talk to you, you must find someone who can talk to them. If these do not work, you must opt for timely professional help.

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Book Author’s Bio: Dr. Kathi J. Kemper earned her doctorate from UNC, Chapel Hill, in 1982. She has authored numerous books on the topic of mental health, including The Holistic Pediatrician and Future of Integrative Medicine. Dr. Kemper currently serves as the Caryl J. Guth Chair for the Center for Integrative Medicine at Wake Forest School of Medicine, as well as the Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Wake Forest Baptist Health.

Year Published: 2010

Book/Author Website:

http://www.wakehealth.edu/Center-for-Integrative-Medicine/Media-Information/Dr–Kathi-J–Kemper.htm

Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.com/Addressing-ADD-Naturally-Kathi-Kemper/dp/145356053X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366827526&sr=1-3

Book Summary:

Families and individuals are often looking for ways to treat the symptoms of ADD without turning to harsh medications. Addressing ADD Naturally, by Dr. Kathi J. Kemper, is a well-researched resource for those families who want to help their children and loved ones cope with ADD without the use of medication. The book provides practical ways to improve one’s focus and self-discipline through healthy lifestyle practices.

Book Review:

If you have ever wondered whether or not it is possible to manage the symptoms of attention deficit disorder without medications, Addressing ADD Naturally is the book for you. The information in the book is based on scientific research. The methods and tactics described are effective at treating the symptoms of ADD naturally by focusing on a person’s overall health and wellness.

Book Reviewer’s Bio: Megan Selin is a freelance writer and literary enthusiast who resides in upstate New York with her husband and three children. She has a Bachelor’s degree in English from the University at Albany and enjoys baking, yoga, and spending time outdoors.

The post Addressing ADD Naturally appeared first on .

Book Author’s Bio: Dr. Kathi J. Kemper earned her doctorate from UNC, Chapel Hill, in 1982. She has authored numerous books on the topic of mental health, including The Holistic Pediatrician and Future of Integrative Medicine. Dr. Kemper currently serves as the Caryl J. Guth Chair for the Center for Integrative Medicine at Wake Forest School of Medicine, as well as the Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Wake Forest Baptist Health.

Year Published: 2010

Book/Author Website:

http://www.wakehealth.edu/Center-for-Integrative-Medicine/Media-Information/Dr–Kathi-J–Kemper.htm

Amazon Link:

http://www.amazon.com/Mental-Health-Naturally-Holistic-Healthy/dp/1581103107/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1366826878&sr=1-1&keywords=mental+health

Book Summary:

These days, there is a large focus on natural health and healing. Mental Health, Naturally discusses various ways in which individuals and families can achieve optimal mental health through natural means, such as massage, homeopathy, and acupuncture. The book addresses numerous mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, and generalized stress disorders.

Book Review:

Mental Health, Naturally is a comprehensive look at a holistic, natural approach to improving one’s mental health. All of the methods and treatments discussed in the book are accompanied by proven research that supports the affectivity of the method. Whether you are interested in massage therapy, homeopathic treatments, or lifestyle changes that will improve your mental health, you will find useful information in this book.

Book Reviewer’s Bio: Megan Selin is a freelance writer and literary enthusiast who resides in upstate New York with her husband and three children. She has a Bachelor’s degree in English from the University at Albany and enjoys baking, yoga, and spending time outdoors.

The post Mental Health, Naturally: The Family Guide to Holistic Care for a Healthy Mind and Body appeared first on .

Be Honest

Your children may have many questions to ask about the deaths, accidents, and brutal killings in society. You should not try to evade these, but rather answer these questions to quench their anxiety. You should tell your children that these sad things are also part of our lives. This would make them learn to face the tragedies of our lives in a straightforward manner.

Let the Children Express

When a tragic situation occurs in the household or neighborhood, or if something is shown on the television, let the children express their feelings. Sometimes, they may cry or shout. Your duty is not to console them immediately. You must let them engage in this reaction and should explain the situation afterwards to them. You must also make sure to give them the protection and warmth of a parent while doing so.

Pay Attention

After watching or hearing about a death or some sort of fatal accident, some children become very upset; sometimes, their total behavior can be altered because of these. As parents, you must be vigilant to identify the changes of your child. If you detect any, you can talk to them and make them feel comfortable. As adults, we have to make sure that we are going to help them, whenever they need.

Make Them Feel That the World Is Safe

There are so many incidents of bomb blasts and killings in modern society. Children can easily access information about these over the mass media, and as a result, they may become nervous and afraid about their parents going out to work. In such occasions, you can explain them about the security arrangements in society, as well as the safety measures that you are going to take. You can minimize their fear about the social tragedies by answering their questions, explaining various situations and how, as a child, you yourself overcame these.

Children are in the basic level of their life, and our duty is to make their path clear. We have to clear their doubts and encourage them to face the challenges of the society. Though it may be difficult, we can definitely achieve our goal. Our guidance should be with our children all the time, so that they feel secure and come out successful in facing the challenges of the society.

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What Is Peer Pressure?

A simple definition states that peer pressure is the force or urge of someone to follow him or his ideas. We can find two types of peer pressures. There are positive peer pressures, and then there are some negative ones. The positive one is a rare thing, where friends try to force good habits and things in a child. The negative peer pressure, which is more common, makes a child do something wrong.

Make Your Child Identify His Own Potential

When your child complains about peer pressure, you must give him encouraging ideas. You must make him recognize his own worth. He must be armed with self-confidence to face others in society and face situations, whatever they may be, without evading or escaping. You must give them the confidence and wisdom to make decisions that are right for them.

Teach Them To Say No

You must talk to your child about the social evils such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and other harmful activities. You must encourage him to refuse the invitations of negative pressure. You must discuss with your children and explain to them about the peer pressure of your childhood/teenage days. Give them concrete examples from your own experience of how you faced that pressure. It is your responsibility as parents to instill good habits in your children. You have to instruct them very clearly that they cannot indulge in any bad or unwanted practices, whatever the situation.

Know Your Child’s Circle

Parents should keep an eye on the movements of their child when he is at home or when he is in his friend circle and also teach him how to face the world. Parents should interact with their child’s friends and, if they get a chance, with their friends’ parents as well. By doing so, they develop a relationship with their child’s circle. It is seen that this helps a lot because it reduces the chances of negative peer pressures on your child.

By taking care of these things, you can keep your child safe from negative peer pressures. However, if you find a friend of your child who exhibits positive peer pressure behaviors, you must encourage your child to keep his company. This will help encourage good behavior in your child and will enable him to handle peer pressure situations more effectively.

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1. What is the difference between common mental illnesses and major disorders?

It is important to note that there is a distinct difference between major disorders and conditions that require treatment but allow for the person to continue on with daily life. Some major mental health disorders that can be debilitating include bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, major depression, PTSD , and borderline personality disorder just to name a few of the most common ones. In many instances, people suffering from major mental disorders are at least somewhat disabled.  Some people cannot work or gain education, and a distinction needs to be drawn between major disorders and those disorders where a person can still function with the help of medication and/or therapy.

2. How would you explain mental illnesses to the family members of a person suffering from these types of illnesses?

The best and most effective way to help family members understand a mental disorder is to compare it to another illness that the family member is familiar with. It is important to remember that people suffering from mental illness are not able to control what is going on any more than somebody can control getting the flu or an ear infection. The behaviors and issues that the family is seeing are symptoms of the illness. Although it is different, the behaviors and outbursts can be compared to the crying and screaming of a child with an ear infection, the exhaustion and need for sleep of a person with mononucleosis, or the vomiting, moodiness, and discomfort of a person with the stomach flu.

The behavior of the family member suffering from the mental illness is due to the discomfort and imbalance that the illness is causing. Underneath the illness, they are the same person that you have grown to know and love. These are symptoms of the illness, not an excuse to get attention.

3. What is the best way for a family member to help somebody suffering from mental illness?

The best way for family members to help somebody with a mental illness is to get educated about the diagnosed disorder. Learn about the common symptoms, treatments, and experiences that the person with the diagnosis is suffering from. Try to learn about the illness and understand what they are experiencing. It is important to listen to the person with the diagnosis, be compassionate, and continue gaining education about the condition. It is also important to get family support in the form of support groups, family counseling, and one-on-one therapy if you need it to deal with your own pain and emotions associated with having a loved one diagnosed with a mental illness. It is important to remember that you are not alone. One in five US adults is suffering from some type of mental illness, and almost everybody knows of somebody close to them who has been diagnosed with a mental illness.

4. How do parents help a child or teen who is suffering from mental illness?

It is difficult for parents to realize that their child is suffering from something, let alone a mental illness, as this usually comes with some associated stigmas. However, early intervention is the key to successful treatment. It is imperative to start with a good assessment from a pediatric mental health professional that specializes in this area. If a parent is unsure about what is going on or where to start, getting a referral from the school social workers or the primary care physician can be a good idea. It is also important to remember that this is nobody’s fault and it will not help to blame yourself, your spouse, or the child. Reassure your child that they did not do anything wrong and try to explain to them the process that will be happening to help them, and why it is necessary to get them added assistance.  Much like with other illnesses or issues, it is helpful to give a comparison of something they have experienced. This can help take the fear out of the process and out of the unknown. Once a diagnosis is made, it is important that you do not refer to the person with the illness as the disease. For instance, if your child has been diagnosed with Autism, he is not just autistic. The diagnosis does not define the person as there is much more to him than the diagnosis. The child has the condition of Autism. He is not the condition itself. This is the same with any person in the family with any diagnosis. For instance, if your sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, you would not call her breast cancer. You would say she is suffering from breast cancer. The same goes for mental illness diagnoses. A person is not a schizophrenic. Instead, they suffer from schizophrenia and have strengths and other interests that must not be forgotten.

5. Is family therapy helpful when somebody inside the family is suffering from mental illness?

Family therapy can definitely be helpful in the instance of a family member diagnosed with a mental illness. This therapy can allow the family to work with a trained professional to help identify the behaviors as symptoms of the illness. It is important for family members to realize that a sense of hopelessness, helplessness, despair, obsessive thinking and other such experiences can be symptoms of the a specific diagnosed medical condition. These symptoms are not usually logical or rational. There are specific things causing these symptoms, and family therapy can help educate everybody involved. Family therapy also allows family members to be part of the solution, and gives everybody a safe and comfortable place to voice their feelings and talk about things as they come up.

6. What are the most common questions you get from families regarding mental illness and how do you answer those questions?

Some of the most common questions I get from families regarding the member with mental illness are:
Why are they doing this? What causes it and how long should it last? What should I do or say? How involved should I be and how much should I push my family member with the mental illness? What expectations should I have for that family member? What limits should I set between myself and that family member?

The reality is that most families want to help their family member with a mental health diagnosis, but just don’t know how to do it. There are many excellent resources out there for families, and one of the best is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). This organization is somewhat like the American Cancer Society, but specifically for people and families in need of resources related to mental illness. There are chapters around the world, and a local chapter can be found in almost every big city in the United States. They provide an extensive amount of information and education. One of the best and most highly recommended and attended courses is the “Family to Family 12-week public education class.”

The reality is that there is a great deal of misinformation about mental illness. NAMI helps to educate the public, get more funding for research, education, and treatments related to mental illnesses. I recommend that people connect with NAMI first, as they can provide resources, referrals, and information for about local services, counselors, therapists, and treatment options.

7. Many parents are finding themselves in a situation where they have a child who is believed to have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and/or ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Why do these conditions seem so much more prevalent now? What should parents do if they think their child may be suffering from one of these conditions?

As with any mental health condition, it is important to seek a professional consultation so the child can be evaluated for the condition. There are many excellent mental health professionals that specialize in these areas, and it is important to find a trusted and competent professional.

As far as these conditions being more prevalent, it seems that there is much more public awareness about these conditions than there used to be. As with most mental health conditions, ADHD and ASD are identified and treated more often and it is no longer as taboo to discuss these issues. However, it is also important to note that some psychiatric conditions may become “over diagnosed.” Thus, it is imperative to make sure that your child gets a complete psychological evaluation for the condition to ensure it is the correct diagnosis before starting a treatment.

8. How common is mental illness? Are most families exposed to it in one way or another?

Mental illness is extremely common. When it is not talked about people feel alone and isolated. However, when people begin talking about it they find out that almost everybody knows somebody who has been touched by mental illness. Talking about it with others who have had similar experiences brings relief, education, and knowledge.

9. Is there anything else you would like to share with the readers?

There has been a positive movement in the treatment of mental illnesses. Holding onto hope and understanding that there is a chance of recovery for mental illness, and that people can still have lives they can feel good about is a big first step towards coping with a new mental illness diagnosis. Most people with mental illnesses still experience successes, dignity, and respect from others. As with anybody, it is always beneficial to focus on the strengths of a person. Help the person with the mental illness realize that they have plenty to offer and are an extremely valuable part of your family and society. Reassure that person that they have a disease and are a person with the condition – they are not the condition.

Many people ask me about the most common or effective treatments of mental illnesses. Part of the education for both the diagnosed and the family is learning about “early warning signs” of an oncoming episode or escalation. As symptoms increase, therapeutic treatment and medications can be less effective. It is helpful to have the ill person develop a “wellness recovery action plan.” This plan outlines what can be done to help the diagnosed family member get back on track if their condition seems to be escalating. It is also important to learn to recognize the early warning signs that aren’t obvious and common. In particular, it is important to recognize the specific personalized signs that your family member exhibits as the condition gets worse. These may or may not be signs that other people with this condition exhibit at all, but can be significant for your family member. As with any condition, early intervention and treatment adjustments are big keys to success. These symptoms can be serious, and it is important to take them seriously.

Many people worry about whether or not the condition is hereditary. There is a hereditary factor for all of these conditions, and the likelihood of another person in the family being diagnosed is higher. However, that does not mean you or somebody else in the family will definitely get it. These conditions are not contagious, but there are factors that can make others more likely to develop the condition from generation to generation. Statistically, the chances are somewhat higher for other family members. The most common likelihood is with identical twins, but again, it is not a guarantee.

The final question I get often is, “What is the most common age of diagnosis.” Again, this varies with the condition itself. For schizophrenia, men are usually diagnosed in their late teens to early 20’s. Women on the other hand are usually a little bit older. For bipolar and depression, these diagnoses can occur anytime during life. In many instances, the earlier the symptoms start the more likely the condition will be severe. However, early treatment predicts the best possible outcome. Thus, it is best to get it diagnosed and begin treatment as soon as possible. Denial does not benefit the person with the condition or the family.

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Identify Issues Troubling the Child

The first way to improve your child’s self-esteem is to identify any issue that may be troubling the child. Some may be real problems, such as bullying, while others may seem more trivial to your adult mindset. Nevertheless, it is important to find out why the child is not feeling positive about who they are and take steps to help the child correct the situation.

Identify the Child’s Strengths

Each child has something that they are very good at doing. Some children may be very good at playing baseball, while others are very good at drawing. No two children are exactly alike, so make sure that you help your child find what they are best at doing. When you find out what they are best at, encourage your child in that area.

Listen

All of us spend time running from activity to activity in this fast-paced world. Instead of planning each moment for your child to be busy, choose to spend some time talking to your child. Take them out for ice cream or for a walk in the park and ask him or her questions that are open-ended. Make sure that the child feels very safe telling you anything. Everybody feels better when their feelings are validated, even if nothing can be done about those feelings.

Encourage Children to Think Positive

Children who have a low self-esteem often think about themselves in negative ways. When you are listening to your child, make sure that they are not continually putting themselves down. If the child is doing so, then make sure to challenge those feelings. When your child does something well, make sure that they are using positive words to describe their experience. Make sure that if the child is feeling negative about a situation, they have evidence to support the way that they are feeling. Finally, make sure that the child is not confusing feelings with facts.

Be Your Child’s Biggest Cheerleader

Watch your child who is suffering from low self-esteem very carefully. Whenever you can, make sure to catch them doing something good. Praise this behavior. When possible, make sure that if you have to correct your child that you do so as easy as possible. Even if you feel like yelling at the child, stop yourself and find a positive way to correct the behavior.

You can help your child feel positive about him or herself. Start by identifying issues that may be troubling your child, even if they seem small to your mind. Make sure to identify your child’s strengths and help them explore those areas. Take time to listen to your child. Encourage your child to think positive. Finally, make sure that you are your child’s biggest cheerleader.

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1. Be Positive

Pay attention to things that you like about yourself, and things that your friends, family, or co-workers like about you. It is important never to dwell on any negative opinions of yourself. It is important to replace negative thoughts with positive resolutions. Being positive includes doing things that makes you happy rather than someone else. Make sure to change those things that make you unhappy that you can control.

2. Get to Know Yourself Better

Get comfortable with who you are; what you like, and what you don’t like. It is so healthy to accept who you are and deal with it. Accepting your personal likes and dislikes familiarizes you with who you are. It is imperative that you understand that some things are unchangeable. Find out what groups or activities you would like to join or watch, and invite friends as well. Try to spend some alone time with yourself doing something creative and fun.

3. Recognize Achievements and Goals

Be your own cheerleader. It is definitely OK to pat yourself on the back to make it through the day. It does not matter how big or small the achievement is, it still deserves recognition. It does not matter if it is an old achievement; glorify it as you did when it happened. A goal or achievement deserves gratification and should be acknowledged by yourself as well as your supporters. Self-accomplishment is a feeling that most people want to feel. Make sure to congratulate yourself regularly.
4. Choose the Right Company

Don’t expect positive things if you’re constantly surrounded by negativity. Make sure your friends are productive and are self-confident. It is also important to surround yourself with people that support you. Whether you struggle with low self-esteem or not, it is always great to know you mean something to someone, and that you have someone when you need him or her the most. Just think, if people that are not even supporting themselves surround you, how can they show you how to be positive? In other words, surround yourself with people that have high confidence and are successful, or hope to be.

5. Stay Focused

It is important to focus on positive things. Never compare your things or yourself to other people and their things. Always note that there are people better off, as well as worse off, than you are. Participate in fun, creative, supportive, and uplifting events and activities. Practice better communication skills, helpfulness, and learn to care more about yourself and others.

Positivity is a virtue, and is the key to having high self-esteem. It is important that you have confidence and are around confident, supportive, and productive. Negative environments will only increase negativity. Always congratulate yourself and never down your goals or dreams. It is important to understand yourself and accept who you are – it’s happier and healthier.

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1. Be Sensitive to Your Child’s Feelings

As an adult, we often term the fear of our children as completely irrational and silly, but for them these fears are a real life thing. In such cases, what is required is that you understand their situation and support them through it. You must help them overcome their fears with love and care.

2. Talk to Your Child about His Fears

Next, to help your child overcome his fears, you must talk to him about it and try to understand what exactly he is afraid of, as what you think he is afraid of and what his fear actually is may be two different things. You must encourage your child to express his feelings. In fact, you can also share your own childhood fears and how you overcame those. Your child may find it easier to express their fears while playing with dolls or puppets, or while reading a story. Games involving firefighting or playing police people may also give your children a feeling of control over bad things.

3. Educate Your Child about His Fears

You must not start avoiding something when you learn that it makes your child feel scared. Rather, you must explain and teach your child about how it works. When children learn about how something works and become familiar with it, they find those things less scary because they know what to expect out of them.

4. Try to Be with Your Child When He Is Scared

You must spend time with your child when you think he may be scared – for example, during bedtime or thunderstorms. You must take time to talk to your child about these things and explain why he should not be afraid of these. You can also help them learn different relaxation and breathing techniques to overcome fear. During this time, if the child shows some courage to face his fears, you must immediately acknowledge it so that he feels good about it.

5. Establish a Routine

Establishing a set routine helps a lot in overcoming your child’s fear. It happens because the daily things become familiar for the child. He feels secure in it and knows what to expect next. You must also include games and other physical activities that your child likes. Doing games and physical activities lets children reduce stress levels.

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Influencing Your Child

• Love Your Body
  • It is important to show your child that he or she should love their bodies by taking care of it. Leading by example is especially important for this demonstration.
• Give Appropriate Praise and Recognition
  • Let your child know that, they are amazing or smart, for example. A good time to praise your child is when he or she has excelled in academics or sports. In addition, make sure that the credit is not always tied to how they performed, but how hard they tried.
• Prioritize Properly
  • Making rational decisions around your child will display responsibility, and will teach your child to understand the difference between important and unimportant.

Loving Your Child

• Spend Time With Your Child
  • Parents should always take time out to spend with their children. It is important for the child to feel loved and significant. Spending time with your child enables good self-esteem.
• Apologize When You Make a Mistake
  • Telling your child sorry after making a mistake is important. Your child will learn that no one is perfect, and it is ok to make a mistake.
• Encourage Positive Role Models
  • Make sure to show your child that it important to incorporate positive people in their lives. The saying may be old, but it really does take a community to raise a child.
• Create a Zone for Expressing Feelings
  • Your child should be able to express his or her feelings. Children have bad days, and they are people, too. Allowing your child to confide in you comfortably produces self-worth.
• Watch What You Say
  • Children are always listening and repeating after their parents. Whether it is a negative comment about you or someone else, the child will copy your behavior and repeat what you say.

Guiding Your Child

• Choose Your Friends Wisely
  • Parents should encourage their children that in order to remain positive, it is important to be surrounded by positivity in all aspects of their lives.
• Be Confident
  • Displaying confidence when raising a child is important; this shows the child that you love yourself, which is a good influence on your child.
• Skinny Does Not Mean Healthy
  • Make sure to show your child that good eating habits and regular exercise helps to regulate their bodies. In addition, your child understands that skinny is not healthy.
• Loving Yourself and Your Child
  • Parents should always appear to love themselves; it is hard for a child to believe that you love them, but not yourself. Loving yourself and your child shows the child to love themselves and others.

Parents are the most influential people in their children’s lives. In everything that they do, their child is encouraged or persuaded. When a parent displays self-confidence, their child will learn to be confident. Teach your child to take pride in his or her appearances by showing your child that you take pride in your appearance. It is important to show your child love by congratulating or praising on their achievements. Raising children that love themselves is mostly influenced by actions and choices of their parents.

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