Articles > Addictions > People Pleasing




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People pleasing is a type of personality that many people would enjoy having in a friend.
To the outside world, people pleasers are those people that put another person's needs before their own. They are extremely generous with their time and are very loyal friends. They would never say or do anything to hurt your feelings and are generally well liked by everyone.

There are some people who fit the description because they are just really nice people.

However, people pleasers act this way because on the inside they feel that no one would love them if they have a difference of opinion or did not agree all the time. They suffer from feelings of insecurity and think that they are generally not as important as others.
 
 
 
 

The main symptoms associated with people pleasing include:


* Fear of rejection
* Fear of loss of the other person's approval
* Feeling lonely, isolated, and insecure

The treatment recommended for people pleasers is largely based on helping them to feel good about themselves. It consists of:

* Individual psychotherapy
* Group therapy
 


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people pleasing              Reply to this Comment
i am an alcoholic inrecovery,not had a drink for over 4 yrs,and experiencing difficuty with my emotions.Ihave always wanted to help people but i also know that i people please,that is why i wanted to see how close these emoyions are,u may contact me at my e-mail address if you wishand maybe we could correspond and that you could help me


People pleasing!              Reply to this Comment
People pleasing as an addiction follows the same pattern as all addictions. It bcomes the center of our world and we can't stop even if it is hurting us. I f what is motivating you does not meet these criteria your probably just a nice socialy motivated person


people pleasing              Reply to this Comment
Hi, i am sorry you are struggling with addiction. it must be a very hard thing to have in your life, but remeber, all is for a reason. you have all the answers within yourself, and only you can decide how you can control those temptations. Surround yourself with loving people who have your best interests at heart...people who will support your road to recovery and to be there whenever you may have a setback. People pleasing does not only belong to individuals with addictions to drugs or alcohol, but also to people without any addictions to substances. I am one of those people to a certain degree. i tend to people please at work, and it bothers me lots, and the roots spring from how i related to my mom and dad all my life..to please them and delay their anger or disappointment in me...to keep my sadness or anger in check, or it would get my mom in a so called depression, etc... wishing you lots of luck in your recovery...


People Pleasing              Reply to this Comment
My husband has, what I call, an addiction to helping people. By that I mean he thinks he can save the world be it with kids, families or individuals that have problems. He will offer money, our home, car, and anything else that someone needs in hopes that he can change them to being better people and he can't seem to stop. He's been like this for 15 years. It has gotten so bad that is effecting our own family life and I truly believe that we are not in a stable situation due to this addicition. Does anyone have any ideas or comments?


People pleasing              Reply to this Comment
Hi paul, i am randomly surfing the net about people pleasing..i do know that it is addictive to different degrees..i am in recovery for this behaviour, and i do the work on my own by reading books on this subject and by previously attending therapy..it helps when you have a support group also if group therapy helps..pleasing others by forgetting ourselves is being disrespectful to ourselves..most people out there will try to get anything from us by using or abusing or manipulating us into doing what they want...it is easy to become a target...so beware and get the treatment you need, and i suggest you read "Codependent No More.." Good Luck


People Pleasing              Reply to this Comment
I am a people pleaser in recovery. I was married for nearly 18 years to someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. It nearly killed me, I became deeply depressed and contemplated suicide. I got help my checking myself into the hospital, through medication and therapy I made a complete recovery. I have learned to validate myself and excepted that I don't have to please people to be loved. I still find a challenge every now and then but I am much more conscious and aware if I feel that I need to please versus choosing to be nice.


All or none              Reply to this Comment
I have a really nice friend who for the most part is very nice and sweet; however there is something I just don't seem to understand about her. If I invite her to my house she says that unless I invite all 15 or 20 of the other ladies in our group she will not come and I quote " What is one of them call me while I'm at your house" I just don't know what to thing. If I suggest we go somewhere else for a coffee she will inmidiatly grab her phone and star calling everyone to come and join us. I always tell her this is just not right to which she answers " Why is it wrong to be all together"? Please is it Me? or is something really wrong with her.


people pleasing mr nice guy              Reply to this Comment
i am interested in agroup..people pleasing..i burnt out helping people..40 years in medical hospital work..i am retired volunteer when i am up to it..enjoy finding me ..its a struggle


people pleasing boundaries              Reply to this Comment
email address; larousse.lincoln@yahoo.com ..is there a group too


People pleasing              Reply to this Comment
I have just figured out, after 4 years of marriage, that my husband is addicted to people pleasing. I always thought he was a nice guy, but then i started noticing how much he sacrificed his own family for his addiction.the best solution I see right now is for my husband to 1. Recognize his addiction (come out of denial) in his own timing 2. Find a support group (celebrate recovery is great for every kind of addiction) 3. He needs to build back the trust of his family and in himself.

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