There are many different unhealthy ways to relate to alcohol.

Alcoholism is recognized as a chronic, lifelong disease that has a predictable course and a range of symptoms outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM Vol IV). Alcohol abuse is distinct from alcoholism in that the dependency aspect - an essential symptom for diagnosis of alcoholism -- is absent.

Despite this crucial difference, both alcoholism and alcohol abuse refer to destructive patterns of behavior involving excessive alcohol consumption. Both alcoholics and alcohol abusers suffer the debilitating effects of alcohol in crucial aspects of their everyday life.  Excessive and inappropriate drinking leads to a disintegration of responsible attitudes and behaviors in work, school and family environments.

Plainly put this means that alcohol causes the chronic abuser to cease to care. This has a devastating effect on those around him. Combine this with a growing incapacity to communicate with anything other than the bottle and you have a runaway train scenario.

Because of the similarities, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) makes no other real distinctions between the two. Both involve a craving for alcohol, a loss of control once drinking has begun and a tolerance that causes increased amounts to be drunk to achieve the same "high".

The risk of developing a destructive relationship with alcohol varies according to one's genetic makeup together with lifestyle and environment. The NIAAA notes, "research shows that the risk for developing alcoholism does indeed run in families".

This does not, however, suggest that developing the disease is then inevitable. Other factors impact, among them the drinking habits of the people you hang out with and awareness of the possibility of the risk. Simply acknowledging that alcoholism runs in the family can provide powerful protection from negative genetic influences. A conscious attitude can go a long way towards halting the problem before it emerges.

Unfortunately alcohol abuse implies a lack of this conscious attitude. It is this aspect that can make it particularly difficult for loved ones to get help for the victims. Because this is such a common problem the NIAAA recommends the following suggestions:

* STOP ALL COVER UPS - A strange thing often happens in the families of people with drug abuse problems, those surrounding them begin to somehow feel guilty and responsible for the problem. This is part of a dynamic where an unhealthy balance is sought between the lack of responsibility on one side with over responsibility on the other. It is important that the person with the problem not be protected from the consequences. This is a form of tough love. It is often tougher on the one who must enforce it.

* TIME YOUR INTERVENTION - Choose your time wisely. Preferably after a fresh incident and when he or she is sober. Wait until you and the loved one are calm and in a place, figuratively and practically, that is conducive to privacy and constructive communication.

* BE SPECIFIC - It is not helpful to bombard the person with generalities. If necessary write incidents down so that you have the facts ready at your fingertips.

* STATE THE RESULTS - Here you need to give he or she a clear understanding of the consequences of their behavior. Avoid sweeping statements. Stick to practical effects that will result from the continuation of destructive drinking patterns. Say it like you mean it and don't say anything that you do not fully intend carrying out.

 

* GET HELP - You are not alone in this. A quick online search will reveal many support agencies geared to help those inadvertently drawn into the circle of suffering surrounding the serious drinker. Al-Anon holds regular meetings for people in your situation. Alateen is a significant resource for the unfortunate children of alcoholics and alcohol abusers. These organizations have helped many to survive often unbearable circumstances. Value yourself enough to get the help and support you need.

* FINDING STRENGTH IN NUMBERS - It is common for those in trouble not to respond to the first or several subsequent efforts at intervention. If your attempts prove unsuccessful call in the troops. Consider asking a friend to join you in your appeal or seek professional help and guidance regarding a full-scale intervention overseen by a professional who is experienced in these sensitive situations.

One of the toughest things for those associated with alcohol abusers is holding onto their own instinct for self-preservation. Often the drinking problem takes precedence over all other normal and natural instincts and those surrounding the drinker begin to neglect their own lives. This is a sad and worthless sacrifice that benefits no-one. It is important to realize the difference between healthy concern and martyrdom.

Alcohol abuse often happens in homes where there are no clear emotional boundaries to protect individual family members. This is where organizations like Al-Anon and Alateen help you to see clearly and develop healthy boundaries that separate you from the subtle and devastating effects of another's self destructive path.