suicidal              Reply to this Comment

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i need to get out of the environment that I'm in because the things going on are leading to me into a depression, violent rages and acts, and sometimes suicidal thoughts.

depreession              Reply to this Comment

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im very depressed, if that's what you want to call it. I don't know what to do. I was using drugs for the past 4 years and my life is so different now because I have been clean for over 2 months. The first month of my recovery I was feeling noremal. Now everyday I feel like I don't want to live anymore and get this horrible feeling. I feel like I'm having a bad high all day. I cant live with this feeling anymore. I just wanted to know if there is anyone out there that has the same feeling as me. I'm also very scared to do anything. I can't walk into a deli and order something to eat, and I hate going outside. I'm isolating myself from the whole world. I'm on anti depressents but there not working. If anyone feels this way please reply to this message... I need to know that there is someone else that is feeling this way because I feel like im so alone. Thanks

depression              Reply to this Comment

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Sweet pea you arent alone. I have two jobs, three kids, a hubby in Iraq, bills out my eyeballs, and one of the children is a teen, former gang member, recovering addict/alcoholic, rape victim (at age 11 by 4 grown men) that is pregnant and about to deliver, another child that is a teen and trying to battle the peer pressure to do drugs for the first time, surrounded by unsupportive school staff that believes that we only built the school so they can earn a paycheck and doesnt see his need for support and encouragement so now he is failing, and a preteen that is falling dangerously close to the numerous gang seductions in this "6th best place to live in TX", is dyslexic without assistance because of time and staff constraints, an ex hubby that is consistent in only failing to provide support for the children and harrassment of MY children, and the list goes on and on. I had to laugh when I proofread the previous sentences to refrain from crying. All I can say sweetie is to keep plugging on. As a clean for 19 years, former call girl/dancer, I can say that it gets easier- not better maybe but easier- to get thru the day and realize that you are here to accomplish something big, lest you'd not be put in this place you are at. Antidepressants will help once you have found the right one. So many choices because they all work differently for different people. Find a doctor that cares for you, not your money. You can tell by how willing they are to take payments:) Keep posting if that is what got you thru the moment. Be sure to MAKE yourself believe that depression is not a luxury you can afford yourself. Turn on every light in the house and take a shower. Put on your makeup. AND GO OUTSIDE! MAKE YOURSELF NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS! Tell yourself you are beautiful and get after it! I hope you feel my prayers for your dear heart and never give up! God bless and keep you.

Depression              Reply to this Comment

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I need help. I'm depressed and I don't know why.. I find myself crying randomly. I feel so empty and alone. I used to cut myself when I was a preteen, and think about it all the time now. I need somebody to talk to but can't bring myself to burden my family or friends by telling them how I really feel. I feel useless.

depression              Reply to this Comment

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I had depression when I was 12 until I turned 14 and I cut myself. I have one scar that was so deep I needed stitches, but I never got any. it is a daily reminder of how sad i was. Last October it came back. I'm 16 now. I read these and some things that ur saying is such a part of my daily routine that it surprises me how bad it really is. Like suicidal thoughts. I see myself dieing sometimes hundreds of times a day. I cry again. That's annoying as hell. Pretty much everything that shouldn't matter does to me. All my friends have left for various reasons, none have to do with me, but this leaves me completely alone. I don't know what to do anymore. I hate it so much. No one will help me and I don't know what I did to deserve this. Looking at my life it looks so perfect, great family, great boyfriend, I'm "attractive" and I hate not being able to enjoy any of it. No wonder I want to die so badly.

kill me now              Reply to this Comment

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I don't think typing this post will make me feel any better but it's worth a shot, I suppose. I am 16 years old and I am terribly depressed. I feel no one cares about me and I'd be better off dead. I'm constantly crying and thinking of suicide. My mother, this pas year, just had her 3rd unsuccessful suicide attempt and now I live with a friend because my father is too consumed in his new rich and exciting life and family. Everyone was too busy when I got raped a month after my 15th birthday. Everyone's too busy to see how hard I work in school and to just wake up and stay on this planet today. And when I am sad or feeling upset the best thing my family could say to me was, "gee we don't get to see you much, stop being such a miserable bitch." Comforting, no?

what should i do              Reply to this Comment

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i feel like not living anymore in twelve turning thirteen i know it sounds childish to say all these things that im depressed but im serious my dad broke his back and has to get emergency surgery and the doctor said that he doesnt know how its all gonna turn out my parents also have been getting into arguments about money and i feel like no ones taking the time to look at me a see that im not the happiest person in this house my parents ask why i cry so much and i tell them that they couldnt imagine how i feel inside and walk off and look at me crazy i lay down every night and cry myself to sleep because i just dont know what to do anymore i cut myself all the time and use braclets to cover my arms. i really hate my life and just want to go to the heaveans and not feel any emotions i try the best i can not to give into all these temptaions but it doesnt work i use to be one of those happy little girls then sixth grade came and i dont know i changed so much and so much happend i dont think my parents give a shit about me because they dont even pay attion to me anymore please help me guys i really need help.

what should i do              Reply to this Comment

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i feel like not living anymore in twelve turning thirteen i know it sounds childish to say all these things that im depressed but im serious my dad broke his back and has to get emergency surgery and the doctor said that he doesnt know how its all gonna turn out my parents also have been getting into arguments about money and i feel like no ones taking the time to look at me a see that im not the happiest person in this house my parents ask why i cry so much and i tell them that they couldnt imagine how i feel inside and walk off and look at me crazy i lay down every night and cry myself to sleep because i just dont know what to do anymore i cut myself all the time and use braclets to cover my arms. i really hate my life and just want to go to the heaveans and not feel any emotions i try the best i can not to give into all these temptaions but it doesnt work i use to be one of those happy little girls then sixth grade came and i dont know i changed so much and so much happend i dont think my parents give a shit about me because they dont even pay attion to me anymore please help me guys i really need help.

im going to kill myself              Reply to this Comment

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I am 16 i have no reason to live anymore my girlfriend doesnt trust me all my friends hate me the only person in my life that doesnt hate ne is the chick i cheated on my girlfiend with and she wont take me back cause shes got a girlfriend:( if my girlfriend breakes up with me again i plan on going home after school smoking a big joint and cuting my wrists to the bone with a razor blade :( i need help i need someone to talk to i need a real friend:(:(:( BEFORE ITS TO LATE

why?              Reply to this Comment

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i understand where you come from and wanting to kill yourself is what i think about a majority of my time. i'm away from my family and friends and i get harassed every day and i want to just say fuck it! and leave no one will date me i can't leave my house i am 17 and i can't do any thing i use to and i feel so close to the edge that i should just go for it but then i think about the future and shit getting better it takes time.

nicki              Reply to this Comment

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don't make any rash decisions. talk.

thank you!!!              Reply to this Comment

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i am ok now when i wrote my last time here i was really depressed but thanks to my family and friends i didn't know i had i am going to be ok :) and my girlfriend trusts me now :) i found out it takes hardship to rilize who your real friends are and how many you have so if anyone is thinking of doing whati was going to do not so long ago just talk to some one anyone it will help:)

im scared              Reply to this Comment

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ok im not on here to tell you im going to kill myself again im here to tell you i am going to hiwassee tomorow to get profesinal help and mabey even medication but im doing alot better and i still know i have a good life and i hope i dont forget it any time soon i like being happy to know im loved and thank you CARL you helped alot!!!!! I love you Caitlin!!!!!!

your welcome              Reply to this Comment

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your welcome Nicki.

Nicki              Reply to this Comment

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if you need to talk i'll check this during the week. hope you do well.

:)              Reply to this Comment

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hay carl thank you so much dude i dont even know you and you helped me thru bad times your really cooll man because of you and my mom and my girlfriend i think im going to be ok for a while but i am still going to go to hiwassee todoy to see if they can give me anything so it doesn't happen again:)

:)              Reply to this Comment

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hope you're okay, with what they say. sometimes they say stuff that isn't what you want to hear. do well.

:)              Reply to this Comment

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hay carl im ok i have to go bace to hiwassee on the 19 to see if a need to be put on meds or something the only thing they did yesterday was ask alot of stupid questoins and gave me some phone numbers that i could call if i broke down again. i might need to call one of them to day:( i dont think im going to do anything stupid but im haveing some truble with caitlin and right at this moment shes reading my jurnal:(:(:( ya thats not a good thing she wont even look at me:(:( i told her that there were things in there that she shouldn't but she wanted to read it anyways:(:(:( the time i cheated on her i wrote the entire thing in my diary and shes reading it every detail:(:( im so stupid but i have so stay strong and hold myself together!!!! but the good thing is my teacher is playing music its calming me down!!!!! but i want to go to caitlin and hold her and tell her i love her but i cant...... i got to go i think ill be ok now by Carl>>>

okay              Reply to this Comment

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well i guess that you'll be writing in your journal about her reading your journal. well if you want to talk you can e-mail me on hotmail if you want it.

:)              Reply to this Comment

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ya that would be really odd if she read it again!!! but ya i'll e mail you. do you got a MYSPACE? mine is blackstain420@hotmail.com if you or anyone want to talk to me anout anything!!!