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reply Reply to this Comment sometime you have to burn before you realize you are on fire. let this person lose everything.. do not support the addiction in any way shape or form.. get out . put the childrens interest first and you must take care of yourself first.. bottom line .. you support bad things and bad things happen!! reply Reply to this Comment It sounds like you really need to soul search.. How has your life been thus far? Have you let the abuse and neglect from other people become your reason for hurting yourself.. remember you are important and you cannot blame yourself for things that happen around you.if you do.. it will eat away at your soul.. your only responsible for your own actions in this world.. so say your prayers, ask for guidance..and stop the warfare on yourself.. you are God's creation and you can't destroy his property.. take care of yourself and get away from negative people, things and places!!!! you will find peace if you seek it out// best wishes dear child!! two two timing turds Reply to this Comment What is the difference that alcohol was involved when the woman cheated. The fact is that both have cheated reneged on their vows and even though it doesn't even out they were both wrong. There are to choices one is to forgive and see if their love is strong enough and the other is to mutually face tbe end. i went thru the same Reply to this Comment You really have to find out the problems maybe she is facing and although it might not seem like if she has any she probably does. Maybe stress,insecure,depressed,really cause it took me about 10 years of what you are going through to figure my problems out and i seeked help for myself and our relationship is much better thanks to professional help. yes Reply to this Comment look thru the web sites apply for medical benefits go to your local parish (church) you will truely benefit. counseling Reply to this Comment i have great thing to say about counseling although it is not for everyone it sure gave me the tools to deal with my own problems. I always felt i needed to talk to someone about my problems and now i know that all my life issues were not my fault and i can truely survive when put in the lowest of cercomstansis.I is no miracle but you also have to take responsiblities for your actions and how you act. been there done that Reply to this Comment the only thing i can say to you is that I've been in this situation before. i was with my spouse for a total of 5 years. we never married because my fear was that the sex would continue to be horrible even in marriage. like you, i communicated my issues daily with her hoping for a change, but none came.eventually i became fed up. we broke up and i found someone else. it was the beginning stages of the breakup, so we were still seeing each other occasionally. she knew about the other woman because i told her about her. the funny thing is this. after five years of constant talk and nagging with little to no results? she wanted to change all of a sudden to get me back. life is funny, today I'm with the new woman she knew how to treat me from day one. i think you should look to the future, do you want to harbor hate? or do you want to be happy? think about it. you've communicated your issues. people always say communication is important. but what can you do if they don't want to listen. you have to move on. I know exactly what u r going through Reply to this Comment I am having the exact same problem with my fiancee and his mother. I can not give u advice because i am going through the same thing and I need some advice myself. I am just letting u know that I feel u. It really does suck because it gets on my nerves. He goes against me as well and his mother treated him like crap when he was growing up. I have always treated him like a king. YOU SHOULDNT.... Reply to this Comment YOU SHOULDNT BE PUTTING THIS KIND OF MESSAGE UP FOR EVERYBODY TO READ IT .I KNOW WHO U ARE AND IM VERRY CLOSE TO YOU AND I KNOW IF UR WIFE READ THIS MESSAGE SHE WILL END UP THE LITTLE SEX LIFE SHE IS GIVEN TO YOU.YOU ARE LUCKY SHE MARRIED YOU. message Reply to this Comment i think u need to find someone who u trust or read a good book. my reading the secrect its getting me my time ..so just try it. message Reply to this Comment pray about it leave it to god i know it probalby sounds like i dont know but i do . Reply: Is it even worth salvaging? Reply to this Comment I can definetely hear your fustration about your sex life. The question you asked about whether you have a right to feel this way and the statement that you just don't feel like you are getting what you want sound like a combination of guilt, anger and fear that it isn't going to get better. I'm no expert in this area, but even though I you're feelings are legitmate, I believe things can still get better. How does your wife feel while she is having sex? It may not be you that is the problem, but its going to affect you if she is feeling used, manipulated, or is responding out of a sense of duty. Does she have issues with sex from her past that she needs to work through? A sex therapist could be a valuable assest in this situation. It may cost money, but it might restore your marriage in ways that you didn't believe possible. A good sex therapist might be able to uncover some of the issues I mentioned above and help you respond in ways that might actually help your sex life. Ask your wife if she would be willing and promise her that you two would look for someone you are both totally comfortable with. I would also suggest that you both read the books "For Men Only" and "For Women Only" Trust me it's a mental case Reply to this Comment Angel, Your cutting may be due to anger turned inward. Instead of hurting others you hurt yourself. It's good you don't want to hurt others, but you need to care about you. Contact a free clinic and let a counselor or doctor know you have issues of a "cutter" and you want help. Have someone there to get you a referral. This could be the healthest thing you do for you. I'm proud of you. About Cutting Reply to this Comment Angel, about your cutting, how do you feel about therapy? Cutting is serious and there is a specific therapy called (DBT) Dialectical Behavioral Therapy that may be helpful to look into. marital issues Reply to this Comment When couples have problems connecting physically, they really need to strive to connect emotionally, spiritually and intellectually first. Becoming intimate without being physical takes practice. Cuddling together, taking walks, giving back rubs creating pet names for one another is important. Prayer helps. counseling Reply to this Comment For low cost/free counseling try state schools they often have a community counseling centers. =) Love Reply to this Comment I agree with your concept of sending messages to the wife through out the day. Howevever, if they are sexual in nature she may feel pressured. This feeling is not condusive to a healthy sexual experience. Do you want your wife just to "put out" or do you want to share an intimate moment of closeness with her. If you are only interested in the sex she will pick up on that and you'll most likely not acheive your desired reponse from her. freedom Reply to this Comment i paid my debt. been out of prison ayear. Have a degree from mercer, but can't find a job? marriage is fallen apart Reply to this Comment hi this is my problem my husband and i have a big problem i have been married for 3 years and we had that problem we dont communicate the way we suppose to and lately i am doing things that really upset him because lately i don't trust him although he tells me he is not seeing any one but the problem he use to get alot of phone calls and then i found an email and i was really jealous but i went and do something wrong i started sending his friend sex comments in an email i knew is was wrong but i did it any way to make him jealous but i just made things worst,he is a person who don't show emotion all i need him to do is to strat been romantic and i will be happy | ||||||||
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By:tammy Posted: May 04 2007 12:46:41 PM